Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
