Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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