I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
