She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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