I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
