pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
