I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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