She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize