Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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