I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
