the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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