im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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