And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
