And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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