he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
