i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
