have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
her vagine was all disorganized.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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