I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
