I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
