one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
