Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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