She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
