Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
