Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
