Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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