For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
