do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
