absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
