This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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