I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
