this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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