fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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