so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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