you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
