Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
