oh god the rape fog is back!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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