I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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