Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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