shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize