Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
