Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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