I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
