We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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