remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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