Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
