I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
