Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
