remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize