ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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