How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we're making bets on your personal life
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize