But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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