Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize