Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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