I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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