who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
