Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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