dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
